


without fail

by Yukari



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Shuake Week 2020, goro is reminiscing about his past, i wasn't supposed to participate this time but i saw the prompt "home" and went feral, it's cute at the end i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukari/pseuds/Yukari
Summary: To Goro Akechi, home wasn’t a place.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	without fail

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did ignore all the other days of the shuake week this year, yes i did wake up just for the "home" prompt, yes they still live in my head rent free

To Goro, home wasn’t a place.

There was never one that he could call that. The places where he lived were constantly changing, and at this point in his life he couldn't even recall most of them well. It’s not like he wanted to, anyway. He didn’t have good memories of them.

Though he still remembered the small, a little gloomy apartments from when he lived with his mother, or the shelter in which they lived for a while, years ago. Those weren’t exactly happy times either, but… even if it was hard, it wasn’t so bad. 

He wasn’t alone after all. There was someone looking after him, someone for whom he thought it was worth doing his best. As long as he had her, it was okay. No matter where they went, Goro didn’t really feel that out of place. 

But that didn’t last, and once she was gone, he learned what it was like, to not belong anywhere. To feel like a broken piece of furniture, placed in the corner of the room, so nobody had to look at it and feel uneasy. 

All the foster homes were the same. The periods he spent at the overcrowded children’s homes were the same. They’d all blurred in his mind to resemble one another. Scornful voices, touches he’d have preferred to avoid, looks of pity that he only wished to wipe off of those people’s faces. None of them cared. He didn’t care either. 

The apartment he lived in during high school was different. So different. It was quiet - for a change. Or maybe ‘quiet’ wasn’t the right word, as it was outright silent. No voice aside from his own, and it’s not like he had the tendency to talk to himself. Nobody to invade his personal space against his will. 

It should’ve been better. 

It wasn’t, not really. In the end, empty and lonely was all it was. He put extra effort into spending as little time there as he could. 

His life of not belonging anywhere continued on, as he always knew it would. He stopped hoping for anything else a long time ago. 

But then, something changed when he least expected it to, and apparently a small coffee shop in a back alley - quiet but not silent, together with the boy behind the counter - interesting and kind, but not overbearing... were enough to make that change. 

_ Welcome home,  _ it felt nice to say that, even if it wasn’t a home to him. __

_ Honey, I’m home,  _ hearing this back in response was even better, even if said boy indulging him was just another lie between the two of them. This wasn’t meant to last, either. 

Of course it wasn’t. Nothing good ever lasted, when it came to him. Soon that boy wasn’t going to be there anymore, and the place would turn into an ordinary coffee shop again. One that he wouldn’t even be able to visit again. It’s not like he even wanted to. 

… 

It wasn’t meant to last. 

But it also wasn’t a lie.

Maybe it was just a play-pretend game, but what he felt was real. That was the conclusion he reached on a certain cold evening, when choosing to reject that safe little world for the sake of both himself and somebody else. 

It wasn’t meant to last, but some part of him wished it could… because for once in a very long while, Goro felt like there was something here for him, by this person’s side. Something so vague and fragile that he couldn’t name it, but wanted to hold onto it despite that. 

But still, he had to say goodbye to this too. Maybe exactly for this reason - to save this  _ something vague _ from becoming his cage. 

He couldn’t let it be destroyed like this, not again. 

…

To Goro, home wasn’t a place. 

Even now, years after that, opening the door to his apartment didn’t make him feel any relief. It made him hold his breath in as he stepped inside and let the door close behind him. It made him stand still and quiet, listening intently for any sounds coming from the inside. 

And they were there. Soft sounds of everyday life coming from the kitchen, a muffled conversation between two voices, quiet enough that he couldn’t make the words out. 

Goro slowly breathed out, finally relaxing. 

“Ah, I thought I heard the door opening,” Ren said, sticking his head out of the kitchen. “You’re early. I’m not even done with dinner yet.”

“He can wait,” Morgana added from the inside. “I’m waiting too.”

“Yeah, yeah, you freeloader,” Ren laughed at him, and, ignoring the ‘what did you say?!’ he got in response, he entered the corridor instead. 

“I just didn’t have much to do today, so I left earlier,” Goro finally replied to his comment from before, taking his coat off and letting Ren take it.

“You could’ve texted me?”

“If it’s about dinner, then I really can wait-”

“Sure, but you could’ve texted me anyway. I wouldn’t mind it,” Ren said, without making much sense, then leaned closer and kissed him, the way he always would. “Welcome home.”

It wasn’t anything new. He did that every time Goro happened to come back when he was already there. He’d come to the door to give him a welcome kiss, without fail, unless he sensed Goro wasn’t in the mood, but even then, he’d still smile at him.

Today wasn’t one of those times though, and Goro simply reached out to wrap his arms around Ren, pulling him as close as he could. Hiding his face in his boyfriend’s neck, he breathed in, and out. 

This wasn’t like all the other times. This was meant to last, and he’d make sure of it.

_ Breathe in, and out. So you can say that, without fail. _

“I’m home.”


End file.
